18 Ways To Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stall Mate

OK, if "toilet humor" makes you uncomfortable, you may not want to indulge in these . I will attempt to "relieve" some of your possibly stuffy toilet humor sensibilities and inform you that the list used to be "20 ways to annoy your public bathroom stall mate" but was reduced to eighteen because two of these were just a bit over the line (or lid for that matter). If you feel so inclined to bump the list back to 20, feel free to suggest one of your own. We'll be sure to add it to the pot if it passes muster.

18 Ways To  Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stall Mate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, may I borrow a
highlighter?"

2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with
a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Dang, this water's cold."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh no! My glass eye!"

6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet
bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of
your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa!Easy boy!"

11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the
wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over
here please?"

13. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and
let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn
all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.

14.Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

15. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now
what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous"
newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor
and say, "Peek-a-boo!"